


Safe

by AwkwardAngie



Series: Sleepy Time Cafe [2]
Category: Cartoon Therapy (Web Series), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cause I Said So, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Oh, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Assault, Soft Ending, Swearing, Trans Character, Ummm what else?, Use of Safe Word, emile is a sweetheart, nothing explicit tho, theyre my sweet boys, trans nb!Remy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 02:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18540541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardAngie/pseuds/AwkwardAngie
Summary: “He wants this, he wants it so bad and it wasn’t like it was his and Emile’s first time together either. Not even close, but of fucking course it just had to turn out to be one of those nights.”





	Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a while, but I had a stroke of motivation to write this til one am yesterday (today?) and I’m actually really happy with how it came out!
> 
> This is in the same au of the last story, just a little (lot) in the future, and actually takes place during the sequel I already have freaking planned for this au :P Should really working on the main story, but like we’ll see where the spark of motivation takes us! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this lil Drabble and I love you all! Til the next time I have a random stroke of creative writing liberty!

“R-Red, Red! Please, stop, please, red!”

Emile pulled out quickly, the moment he heard the first safe word come out of Remy’s mouth. Concern painted Emile’s features, looking for any signs of pain he was worried might be coming from Remy.

Remy curled in on himself and shifted away from Emile, his breathing shallow and rushed and his mind spinning like crazy. What the hell was happening??? It was all fine at first. It was fine and they were both having fun. 

He wants this, he wants it so bad and it wasn’t like it was his and Emile’s first time together either. Not even close, but of fucking course it just had to turn out to be one of those nights. 

He just...couldn’t get that fucker’s face out of his head. All he could see when closed his eyes tight was His dark looming figure, His rough, forceful hands roaming his numb body, His piercing eyes sadistically enjoying watching his shaking limp form bend to his will. He didn’t want it, wanted him to get away, to stop haunting his thoughts even after all these months, but he was. Still. There. 

Why? Why tonight of all nights? Why did He always have to come at all the wrong moments and ruin his otherwise lovely fucking night with Emile (no pun intended)? His chest was tight and it hurt and he couldn’t breathe. Fuck, he couldn’t breathe and it was all that jackass’s fault and now he was going to DIE, here, naked on Emile’s bed for god sake and--

“-emy? Remy, please focus on my voice okay? I need you to focus on me, please hon? There we go that’s better.” Emile’s soothing voice broke through Remy’s thoughts, bringing him back to reality. His chest still hurt, and he couldn’t get in control of his breathing, but at least his focus was more or less now on Emile’s concerned but comforting smile instead of his spiraling thoughts.

“It’s ok, you’re gonna be alright Rem,” Emile started to reach out, but stopped short when he remembered that when was in these states, Remy rarely liked to be touched, especially without being asked first. So he put down his hand as quickly as it came up, wanting to respect Remy’s space and make sure he was ok first.

“Rem, I’m going to need you to take a deep breath for me, ok honey? Do you think you can do that for me?” Remy hesitated for a moment, watching Emile’s chest rise and fall, probably a bit more dramatically than usual, but he took a deep shaky breath in, trying to copy Emile’s breathing pattern.

It was hard, his chest still hurt, and it didn’t help that of course now he was starting to become increasingly aware of just how exposed his body is. Nothing could be easy, now, could it?

“In for 4, hold for 7, and out for 8, ok Remy?” Emile recaptures his attention as he did exactly what he was saying so that Remy could copy him. “Just like we’ve practiced hon, you’re doing great. You’re ok, you’re safe here.”

It took a bit, but soon Remy’s chest slowly became less tight and his breathing became easier. He would’ve thought he’d ran a marathon in his binder fueled by only Starbucks coffee by how tight his chest felt before, but he was relieved now that he could actually breathe again.

Emile looked over Remy again, concern more apparent this time rather than hiding behind a smile. He turned his head slightly to the side, not that unlike a curious puppy, when Remy made eye contact with him, silently asking for an explanation. However, he didn’t push him for any answers, giving him a chance to come up with an excuse if he wanted to. 

Remy just simply let his head fall back, groaning while he did so and crossing his arms over his chest. “I thought I’d be over it by now, ugh. I’m sorry…” he trailed off at the end, avoiding looking anywhere near Emile when he did and wrapping his arms around his chest. 

“You don’t have to be sorry hon. It’s perfectly understandable and it’s not your fault,” Emile responded back, in that sickeningly sweet gentle voice of his that sounded awfully close to his “therapist’s” voice Remy’s heard him use when he was with his patients. “I-I didn’t hurt you though, did I?”

Remy’s head whipped back up to look at Emile, catching the look of mortified worry on his face. “No! No, babe you didn’t. Don’t worry. I just...God, I really should be over it by now. It was, like, over half a year ago, but it just….always chooses just like the greatest times to creep back up on me, doesn’t it heh?” Remy chuckled sadly, his arms wrapping tighter around himself.

Emile’s face scrunched up more with worry, his hand once again instinctively reaching up to comfort his obviously hurting partner. It hurt him to see him like this. But he stopped himself. Instead, he took a deep breath and looked around at Remy’s downcasted eyes to recapture his attention again.

“Is it alright if I touch you hon? You can always say no if it’s too much right now.”

Remy hesitated for a moment.

“Yeah,” he replied softly after a moment of careful deliberation. “Yeah. Just, one sec.” He leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed the first shirt he could find, which just so happened to be Emile’s sweater that swallowed Remy whole whenever he stole it from him, but it was exactly what he was needed at that moment. And then he grabbed his boxers that were thrown early towards the end of the bed and put them on, shifting closer to Emile once he didn’t feel as exposed anymore.

Emile followed Remy’s lead, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a short sleeved shirt that was neatly laid at the end of the bed. He instinctively wrapped his arms around Remy when he felt his warmth settle against his side. He felt Remy shakily sigh, adjusting himself closer into Emile’s side, causing him to subtly giggle at the tickling sensation.

They laid there content for a moment or two, Emile subconsciously trailing his fingers up and down Remy’s arm, a comforting sensation that he welcomed wholeheartedly. Silence passed between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was exactly what Remy needed right now, but he still felt a pang of weighing guilt in his stomach that always came on nights like these.

“...I’m sorry” Remy, whispered, barely audible. “I ruined the night. Again.”

“Hey, hey, no you didn’t,” Emile looked down at him, his cheek resting against Remy’s hair. “You didn’t ruin anything, ok love? I’d much rather be doing this with you if that’s what you’re more comfortable with. And!” he raised his hand before Remy had a chance to protest. “Don’t you dare say anything, I’d rather do something with you that you want to do than do something you obviously didn’t want, ok hon?” He gave a gentle kiss to the top of Remy’s head, metaphorically putting an end to any more debate on the topic.

“How about a movie, hmm? Oh, what about I put on Ratatouille! Oh don’t give me that face, I know you always love it when I put it on. Hang on, I’ll be right back!” With that, Emile scooted himself off the bed to grab his laptop from the closet. 

Soon enough, they were back to their previous positions next to each other, Emile loading up the movie and resting his head on top of Remy’s as the title sequence began. Remy giggled at his boyfriend’s excited, cheerful attitude, and sighed contently as he cuddled closer to Emile’s warmth he seemed to always radiate.

~~~

The credits rolled down the screen of the laptop. Remy had stayed up watching the entire thing, but halfway through the film, he felt the weight on his head become heavier, along with the soft, even sound of breathing that followed the weight. He looked up at Emile’s sleeping form, catching the calm expression on his face as the ever slightest line of drool trailed down the side of his mouth. 

Remy thought it was the most adorable thing he’s ever seen.

Although, that wasn’t very hard to see whenever it came to Emile.

He closed the laptop as the ending credits finished and set it down on the floor. Then he looked back up at Emile and caught his slowly slipping glasses and set them down on the nightstand, next to the sunglasses Remy himself wore during the day. Finally, he turned off the night lamp and settled back next to Emile under the covers. Emile, even in his sleep, instinctively wrapped his arms around Remy’s middle before sighing contentedly, falling into a deeper sleep. 

Remy stared at his resting features, his fluffy, sleep mussed hair slightly glowing around the edges in the faint moonlight and calm figure emitting a cathartic aura that seemed to always revolve around Emile whenever he was around. A small smile crept up on Remy as he continued to stare at the spectacle that he’s able to call his.

“...I’m safe. I’m safe,” he said very, very quietly to himself, smiling before closing his eyes, finally able to maybe believe those words for the first time in a very long while.

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t forget to leave kudos if you liked and comments are always very much welcomed :]  
> Love you all!!!


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